“Parental terrorism”: parents shout, threaten, use obscene language. Who will protect teachers?

How to determine in time that a child is being bullied at school

Children rarely turn to their parents for help. Sometimes they are ashamed to admit that they are offended, and sometimes they are simply afraid to complain. They are afraid that parents will go to school to deal with the offenders, and then things will get even worse. There are cases when child cruelty goes beyond all limits, and the child is simply intimidated. How can you understand that your son or daughter really has serious problems?

1. Refusal to go to school. This situation should immediately alert mom and dad, because the main and real reason may not be problems with studies, but because the child feels bad at school and in the team. Children do not want to share such problems with their parents, they often become withdrawn, and their academic performance plummets.
2. Sometimes parents don’t even know that their child is skipping classes or that the situation is already critical, until the child starts coming home with bruises and abrasions, and all in tears.
3. If your son or daughter starts coming up with excuses in the morning not to go to class, then it’s worth starting a conversation, only in a calm tone. If you have a trusting relationship in your family, then most likely the child will share his experiences. But, if your relationship with your offspring is strained, then don’t really expect his revelations.
4. Regular tardiness and poor grades should alert any parent. If your son or daughter is in adolescence, then do not attribute everything to a crisis. Perhaps the situation is slightly different, and your direct intervention is required.

5. Inspect your child’s things periodically. If your student often comes in with dirty and wrinkled clothes, or his personal belongings constantly break or disappear, then you will have to accept this alarming call and stop turning a blind eye.

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Response to complaint: two scenarios

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Which children are most often bullied at school?

All children can fall into the “offended and offended” group. Much depends on upbringing and the atmosphere in the family, the relationship between parents and children. Sometimes moms and dads, unwittingly, can be the reason that their children are subjected to violence and bullying from their classmates.

• Very often, some external defects of the child become the subject of ridicule and insults: bad teeth, protruding ears, excess weight or short (tall) stature. Another nationality and, accordingly, other habits and traditions cause irritation and a desire to make fun of other children in the class.
• When, for some reason, you changed schools, and in the old one your child was a leader, then in the new team it will be extremely difficult for him to win a leading position. After all, he doesn’t have any friends or acquaintances in class yet. Or they may not appear unless you have a conversation with your son or daughter. Support your child and explain that you don't have to be a leader to be respected. It is enough to be an interesting personality and a well-mannered, friendly person.
• If the child himself is conflictual. Pugnaciousness in boys is not unusual, so take a closer look. If after such a fight your son behaves quite normally and does not withdraw into himself, then nothing particularly terrible has happened. Although, if such situations occur regularly, then you will have to go to school and find out what is really happening. It is possible that your bully himself provokes conflicts in the class and is the instigator of strife.

In this case, you should have an educational conversation with the child at home, limit computer games, which actively develop cruelty in children, and promote violence, including physical violence, as the norm of behavior.

• Children from disadvantaged families are treated especially negatively. They usually do not have expensive things, phones, they look unkempt, and often study poorly.
• If a child is quiet, inactive and has not learned to fight back, then those whose homes are accustomed to rudeness and impudence can take advantage of this. In this case, you need to come to school and find out the circumstances. If necessary, you need to meet with the parents of these children and the class teacher. You must stand up for your child.
• A special group are children with psychological problems or children with choleric temperament. You can get rid of such a child in a matter of minutes. And then such a revolution begins that experienced teachers cannot always cope. Such situations cause genuine interest and excitement among classmates. Therefore, if your son or daughter is choleric and easily excitable, then you should warn your teachers, and, if necessary, your classmates.

There are also completely unexpected reasons, especially in high school: unrequited love, some cases where an incident or misunderstanding happened to a child. This can lead to the fact that childhood cruelty and herd behavior in the person of classmates will torment the unfortunate child for a long time until adults intervene.

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Receiving a response to a complaint from the administration of an educational institution in 2020

While the child is within the school walls, teachers are responsible for him. They should not only give children knowledge, but also be an example, a model of professionalism and competence. Often teachers are far from the ideal teacher. They violate children's rights and discredit the title of teacher.

Often children today are subjected to humiliation by teachers, unreasonable assessment of knowledge, biased attitudes, psychological and even physical violence. In such a situation, there can be only one way out - to write a complaint against the teacher on behalf of the parents to the school principal. Only he has the right to conduct a disciplinary investigation and punish the incompetent teacher for the offenses committed. If the conflict goes beyond the educational system, a sample complaint against the teacher should be submitted to the police, prosecutor's office or court.

Advice for parents on what to do if their child is bullied at school

1. Many busy fathers and mothers do not intervene until the last minute, until the routine question: “How are things at school?” They find out that this is where their child has not been seen for a long time. Don't bring the situation to a critical point. Because then it will be extremely difficult to help the child return to a normal psycho-emotional state.

2. Parents should find that middle ground when their external calm does not betray their anxiety and the actions already taken to normalize the situation. On the one hand, you must give children the opportunity to learn to make their own decisions and defend themselves. But, on the other hand, when you see that your son or daughter is being physically abused and the cruelty of children has gone beyond what is permitted in the classroom, you simply have to react.

3. Ask your child who is offending him. Specify whether this is done by one person or several. How long has all this been going on and how does he himself react to such actions of the offenders? You need all this information so that you can correct your behavior, as well as that of your son or daughter in this situation. It may be enough to talk with the child at home, but in difficult cases you will have to involve a teacher and school psychologist.

4. If physical humiliation is added to the insults, the alarm must be sounded urgently. Your parental responsibilities include direct protection of your child, conversations with him in private, conversations with the class teacher, with children who offend, and with their parents. Reach everyone who, in one way or another, is involved in beatings and insults.

5. It is important in a conversation with a child to focus on the fact that one should respond to ridicule and offensive words not with tears and retaliatory insults, but completely calmly, that is, not to be led by provocations. Then such a person automatically ceases to arouse interest, because he does not shout or get into a fight, but shows strength and dignity.

6. Children who are too shy or homebodies are often attacked by other students. Try to socialize such a child as much as possible. Enroll him in a sports or friend interest group. There, your son or daughter will be able to find new friends, gain new knowledge and skills, which will significantly increase his self-esteem. Gradually, the attitude at school towards the child will change for the better.

7. The same advice applies to overly aggressive children. Just like shy people, their self-esteem suffers. They try to attract attention to themselves with negative actions. They get the same thing in response. By enrolling such a child in a sports section, you will solve several problems at once: increase the self-esteem of your son or daughter, make him a calmer person who no longer needs to prove anything. If your child received an award in a competition or contest, bring it to school. Teachers usually talk about this during classes and classes.

8. Sometimes children are abused by other students because they do not know how to communicate. Teach your child a few techniques for effective communication. Talk to him about situations in which he could apply new skills. Try to go out with him more often where he can communicate a lot and meet new people.

9. Teach your children to support others. A child who can tell another person: “You're a great runner!” or “Cool shot, well done!” - always has loyal and reliable friends. If you want your son or daughter to have many friends, teach him this simple positive communication technique.

10. Try to ensure that the child is always neat, and that he has pocket money for the buffet and for some of his own necessary little things. If your child has moved to another school, you can invite new classmates to visit so that the children can get to know each other better. Help your child adapt faster.

Sample complaint

1. TO WHOM. The name of the authority to which the complaint is sent. Full name of the manager, if known. Located in the upper right corner.
2. FROM WHOM. Place the applicant's full name and contact details below.
3. TITLE. The title of the document is written in the center separated by a space: “Complaint”
4. TEXT. State the essence of the matter in free form. Causes of the conflict, its consequences for the minor. The names of victims and persons responsible for unlawful actions/inaction must be named. Indicate the time of the incident (if a specific case is being investigated), provide information from witnesses. If you simultaneously sent a complaint to several authorities or are planning to do so, write about it. It stimulates officials well.
5. REQUEST. Please ask to take action against the culprits and report them within the prescribed period.
6. DATE OF.
7. SIGNATURE.
8. In the case of a collective complaint, the signatures are decrypted in full.

It is not recommended to write anonymous requests. Most often, they go unheeded, unless they are messages about an impending terrorist attack or other threat to public safety and order.

Protecting the rights of the child: where to complain about a kindergarten

Additionally, I would like to draw your attention to the fact that information about the place in the queue containing the child’s personal data is provided in writing to an email address by the Department of Education of the city of Shakhty if the citizen’s application is signed with a qualified electronic signature. More details about what an electronic signature is on the official website of the GAU RO RCIS: https://rcisro.ru/elektronnaya_podpis. Regarding the question of your child’s place in the queue, it is not possible to provide this information, since according to the minutes of the meeting of the municipal recruitment commission dated February 13, 2015 No. 624, the child was sent to DS No. 62 Shakhty, Ostrovsky St., 14, to the early childhood group age No. 1 (for children from 1 year to 2 years).